Let's Talk About Marriage

Keeping Your Marriage And Its Blanket Of Love

2006-08-31T00:46:00.000-07:00

There is no secret to a perfect marriage. If marriage could give you a glimpse of heaven, it could give you as much of hell. There is even a famous saying where the perfect marriage can only be found between a deaf and a blind couple, because the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of his wife, while the blind wife cannot see the shortcomings of her husband.

Of course, there are also those couples who are lucky enough to be soul mates. Being truly and deeply in love with each other is more than what most people could ask for in a relationship. But even love is not enough to sustain a relationship. There are other factors that come into play.

Why then do people get married? Is it to have a family? Is it to have someone to grow old with? Is it for wealth and security? All of these count, but there’s a bigger reason. Marriage is when you give so much of yourself and yet, you feel whole.

Something as special as marriage should be nurtured forever. So what do couples need to keep it? Trust, love, respect, compassion, and patience are all important. But even the best marriages can run into trouble. This is because couples tend to take the simplest things for granted. Would you like to know some of these things? Then read on.

Proven tips for a happy marriage:

Point 1: Be independent.

Just because you marry, it doesn’t mean you must embrace everything about your partner. Sometimes, you forget about how different you two are because you’ve been together for so long. Don’t lose your uniqueness because it’s the same thing that attracted both you and your partner in the first place. Try to take on different interests and encourage your partner to do so too.

Point 2: Never be angry at the same time.

When you’re angry, you hear nothing else and you don’t care about anything else. If you find that both you and your partner are angry, try to have some space. Calm down. Then talk. Be sensitive to each other’s ups and downs. Talk through the problem and hear each other out. Abandon the whole world rather than each other. And never go to sleep without settling the argument. Most importantly, never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

Point 3: If you have to disagree, do it lovingly.

There will be lots of times when you and your spouse won’t agree at all in some aspects. Don’t make your point sound like a criticism to your partner. It doesn’t matter who is wrong or right. Always bear in mind that an argument doesn’t need a winner or a loser.

Point 4: Never bring up mistakes of the past.

Whenever something goes wrong, do not rub past issues in. Don’t dwell over the past such that you become blind with the wonderful things ahead of your relationship.

Point 5: At least once every day, try to say one thoughtful or complimentary thing to your partner.

When a couple always spends time with each other, they often forget about courtesy. “Take the trash out. Do the laundry.” Isn’t there something missing in those phrases? Perhaps putting “Please” before each sentence would make it sound so much better. Never take each other for granted.

Showing constantly that you both like each other will help keep your relationship fresh. Even something as simple as complementing on your spouse’s looks or buying little unexpected gifts can help. Look for the things that would make your partner feel appreciated.

How do you live by the guidelines stated earlier? Lower your pride. But don’t get me wrong. Pride is a good thing. It keeps your head high in public. It's not a bad thing to have pride in someone or something. But in private, when you're with your partner, keep the pride level down; because it becomes a wall your partner would have to overcome.

About the author
How to Easily Transform a Miserable, Lifeless Marriage Relationship into One Filled With Love, Happiness, and Excitement - Just Visit: http://www.marriage-problems-advice-help.info

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Keeping Marriage Happy

2006-08-07T23:54:00.000-07:00

Marriages are taken for granted. After the honeymoon period is over, couples co-exist. Most of the time without any charm in their married life. Everything becomes a routine- eating, sleeping, everything becomes highly predictable and dull. If kids arrive in the life of a married couple, which they invariably do, the attention shifts more to upbringing of the children.

What happened to the early romance? Why does a marriage kill a perfect romance? Why do people break-up and divorce each other so soon after the marriage? What happens in the period of their married life that brings it to either a dull existence or an end?

The very first change that can be noticed is care. Yes, before marriage, a partner is more worried about how to take care of the other partner. After marriage, it is the other way round.

Why are you not paying any attention to my needs? Why do you not care for me? Why are you acting so selfishly? Why is your work more important than me? Why can you not wash the dishes alone? Yes, I agree that you need a holiday badly, but where is the money? Accusations of different types fly around and make a hell of what was heavenly togetherness earlier.

Keeping one's married life happy is very essential. Complaining about the partner will not help, but understanding each other's needs and trying to fulfill them will. Partners need to go back in life and look for that spark that kindled the love in the first place. What did you admire in your partner before marriage? Do you still admire that or not? What did you like before, that you hate now? Reflect. Go back and think. Bring that charm back. Complimenting each other for the smallest act, expressing happiness of living together, letting the partner know how much you value her/him and so many small things that make the other partner happy must be done daily.

Why ignore your husband or wife and feel envious about other couples. Why not create a happy life that others envy? Why not make the other partner feel needed and good at all the times.

Why not forgive even a big blunder? Why not put yourself in your partner's shoes and think about the life he/she is living. Why not bring the romance back by going for candle-light dinners, or watching the sunset together? Let the sun set, but keep your marriage happy.

Have you ever thought of sending ecards or e-greetings to each other everyday? They cost nothing most of the times, but for a minute. But imagine the joy of the recipient. Why not make your partner happy with such cards daily? Give it a thought.A happy marriage is the foundation of a happy family. only with happy marriage, can we hope for happy children and a happy world.

CD Mohatta writes on living, motivation, love, values etc. He is a content writer for egreetings and screensavers in http://www.screene.com , http://www.cupidecards.com/ecards/lovenotes1.php and http://www.ecarduniverse.com/ecards/anniversary1.php

Congratulations! You're Getting Married

2006-07-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

Now that you have shared your happy news with family and friends the fun really starts. It's time to actually start planning your wedding; wedding reception ideas, bridal bouquets, wedding favour ideas and dress ideas will be swimming around in that little loved-up head of yours!

Take a deep breath and relax because the BIG question you're already asking yourself is... "Where do I start?"

Well, the only way to successfully plan your perfect wedding is to start with your wedding reception ideas. Treat yourself to a few bridal magazines [you've always wanted to buy one and now you can with that rock on your finger!]. Start looking around in haberdashery departments and put together a collection of the materials, styles and colours that appeal to you. These will provide the essential ingredients for your wedding reception ideas board or scrapbook or however you choose to present them.

Your ideas can then spiral off in a multitude of different directions as you start to consider wedding themes, wedding favour ideas, colour themes and style themes, etc. It is truly essential to set the tone of your wedding first and then everything else falls in to place. For example, if your bridal gown shop knows you are going for a traditional "ivory and gold" theme, she can then advise you on gowns to suit this theme. In addition, you can then advise your wedding favour supplier that any ideas for wedding favours must fit within this theme.

Wedding favours come in all different styles and design. They range from candle favours, chocolate favours, cd wedding favours, beach themed favours and many more. You can even personalise your favours to make them unique to your guests.

In these early days, there is no need to ask for the groom's comments - wait until you have narrowed down some ideas before you present them to him. He won't really respond to "do you like this?" and "what about this?" being thrown at him 50 times a day. It is far better to approach your groom once you have narrowed down groomsmen ideas, colour ideas, wedding reception ideas, wedding favour ideas, etc to a minimum. You will also get a more honest answer from him. Don't forget, even though ideas for wedding favours have completely taken over your life for the moment, he might not share your enthusiasm at this early stage of the preparations.

Throughout your ideas stage, you must not forget your wedding guests. Fundamentally, it is your day, however every girl wants their wedding remembered for its class and elegance. The one way that guests will treasure your wedding memories is by the giving of unique wedding favours. Second to your wedding themes and wedding reception ideas, you must consider wedding favour ideas carefully. Once your beautiful day is over and you're embarking on married life, you want your guests to look back at their favour boxes and bomboniere and reminisce!

However you plan your wonderful day, and whichever of your original wedding reception ideas and ideas for wedding favours you choose, have a special day and a magical married life thereafter!

About the author
This article is brought to you by Emily Tanner - She recommends more advice and quality wedding favours and bomboniere at http://www.world-of-wedding-favours.com

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Forgive For Less Marital Anger

2006-07-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

Stacy's partner of twelve years does not come home one evening and she knew he was with a former lover. He begged for another chance with Stacy, but her pride and anger held her back. Stacy said she would feel like a fool if she forgave him, even though she still loved him. Stacy didn't end the relationship, but reminds him daily of what he did to her.

Should Stacy forgive her otherwise good husband for what he did? Of course, only Stacy can make this decision.

Fact is, most marriages cannot survive knowledge of an affair, but some do and can even grow stronger in the long run.

Stacy and others who struggle with forgiveness for all kinds of marital offenses (not only affairs) can be helped in their decision by considering the following misconceptions about forgiveness:

MISCONCEPTION #1
Forgiving means that you forget about the offense.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Even though you forgive, you may never forget (and probably shouldn't) what happened to you.

However, you can tell that you have truly forgiven an offense when you can remember it without experiencing the emotional pain connected with it.

MISCONCEPTION #2
Forgiving means that you are saying what they did was okay.
Quite the opposite. We can still forgive, but see what happened to us as unjust, unfair, or unacceptable.

There are many things that our partners can do to us that we don't deserve or that violate the contract, covenant, or agreement you have with each other.

Yet, we can forgive by realizing that perhaps they were misguided, or flawed and thus worthy of another chance.

MISCONCEPTION #3
In order to forgive, you need to tell your partner that you forgive them.

Actually, it often backfires if you go up to someone and say "I forgive you," especially if they see themselves as a victim instead of seeing themselves as someone who warrants forgiveness.

Fact is, forgiveness occurs in your heart not in the telling someone that you forgive them.

There are exceptions to this, however, and circumstances under which you might want to discuss your forgiveness of them but only if you think that it will not cause further harm.

For instance, Ruth's husband asked for her forgiveness following a gambling spree which put the family in financial peril. After one year of rehabilitation and a "clean" record, Ruth told him that she now forgave him.

MISCONCEPTION #4
If you forgive, it means you will trust them again immediately.
Forgiveness and trust are two separate issues. Even after forgiveness, it may take a long time to re-build trust.

To instantly trust your partner again after being violated is not a sign of good mental health or strong self-esteem.

Doing this may also send a message to your partner that they may continue to violate your trust with little fear of actually having to suffer the consequences.
Marital trust must be re-earned after an offense, based on good behavior not just smooth words or empty promises.

MISCONCEPTION #5
After forgiving, you will automatically feel positive feelings again for your partner.

The opposite of anger is not love. Absence of angry feelings doesn't necessarily create warm, positive feelings' sometimes it simply creates neutral ones.

In many cases, of course, it is impossible to ever rekindle the love feelings' even after forgiveness. This is common with ex-partners who learn to let go of the
anger connected with the divorce issues, but never love each other again.

MISCONCEPTION #6
Forgiveness occurs all at once.

Not necessarily. Maybe you can start by forgiving maybe 10% just open the door and then see how your partner behaves.

After a period of time, you might open the door a little wider and let go of a little more anger until you are truly able to forgive 100%

About the author
Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach http://www.angercoach.com provides classes, products and resources for adults, couples,the workplace, and professionals. He can be reached at 714-771-0378.

Candidates: Rivals disagree if same-sex marriage should go to voters (Milford Daily News)MILFORD -- State legislators will vote this week whether to allow a ballot question outlawing same-sex marriage, and the candidates for the Worcester 10th District are lining up on opposite sides of the issue.

Take your marriage one day at a time (Boston Globe)This is the first day of Mr. and Mrs. Peter Bigelow Sahlin Jr.'s officially blessed life together. Yesterday they were married. Today they are married.

Marriage Proposal

2006-07-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

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Poll shows state split on gay-marriage ban (Gazette Extra Sports)MADISON, Wis. - Wisconsin residents are evenly split over whether to amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage and civil unions, according to a new poll.

Is Love Important In Marriage? You Betcha!

2006-07-07T10:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever fallen in love? Do you wish that the person you are with right now is the same person who will share the rest of your life with? Is there a reason a person to be in love?

Everybody wants to love and be loved in return. Falling in love is one of the best feelings ever to feel by an individual. When in love, a person has all the reasons to smile and be happy.

But sometime love is misunderstood. Most people think that love is merely an emotion. That it is something that you feel. Yes love gives you an emotion but you can not feel it. In marriage, it something that fades when time passes by.

Love is how you decide to act and treat someone on a particular way. It is more on the actions you intend to show than you feel. Love is the promise and the vow you and your partner had made on your wedding. It is a pledge, a security.

This is the reason why you promised to love and cherish each for all eternity. You both did not promise to feel a certain way. Instead, the promise and the vow was made and sealed for better or for worst.

Is love really important in marriage?

Definitely it is important! It is because feelings usually rise and fall, come and go. There may be times that you are upset or you have hurt the person you love. Instances like this may happen, but it does not mean you have to give up easily. Actually, this is the best time that love calls for your attention.

Because you love your partner, chances are you will learn to forgive, mend, encourage, cherish and improve your marriage into the better. It is not that everything will always be easy and simple. There will be times that those good feeling is just around the corner and sometimes they are left unrecognized. However, your continuous commitment to love as you have promised will make sure that the feeling will come up always.

Love must be a commitment. Most marriages failed because one of the couple falls in love to someone else. This is because of what people call the feelings and lust. The feelings will always change.

Making a comparison between your spouse and the other person is not right. It actually leads your attention out of your partner. Once this happen, it would be very easy to look for third party and destroy your marriage relationship. It will be easier for you to set aside your commitment and your promise to your marriage.

Therefore it is necessary to keep love in mind always. Do not forget the commitment you have for your partner. This is important since you two can help each other face difficult trials and solve problems the natural way.

It is actually your decision to love your partner that will help you get through. When you and your partner remember the promise of love and be together through thick and thin then, the marriage is secure. Without the commitment, the marriage will be weak to endure the problems that are unavoidably to come.

Lastly, keep in mind, love is not merely a feeling. It is a decision to make and to perform a certain way with the person you choose marry and be with forever.

About the author
You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit http://www.salvagemarriage.com for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

Court says same-sex marriage not allowed under state law (Capital News 9)CAPITAL REGION Testimony continues in Porco trial Testimony continues in Goshen today in the murder trial of Christopher Porco. FULL STORY >> Updated: 7/6/2006 3:39 PM

Parents, teachers become partners for arts in school (Lexington Herald-Leader)For Melissa Bacon, working on a drama project for Garden Springs Elementary School was the perfect marriage of core content and art.

Effective Ways To Save Marriage Starting Now!

2006-07-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

They say that marriage is the most important decision you have to make in your whole life. Although this has been a reminder from the elders, some people do not look at it that way especially the young. Sometimes, what turns out to be the smartest decision becomes the opposite.

When a couple realizes that their marriage is going down, there's nothing more important than saving marriage. You should talk about things that will be helpful to save your marriage. It is important for a couple to remain the same as how it used to be.

There are a lot of factors affecting marriage and it hinders having a happy, fun and enjoying life for the couples.

If a married couple is having problems, they need to do everything to save marriage especially if they have kids. This article will give you tips on how to save marriage.

First is to acknowledge the reasons for your problems. This means that both of you should accept the problem and find out how it all started. If you do not talk it over, problems will get bigger and bigger. When the problem becomes bigger, it will be hard to pull it down and talk over.

If the partners are rational, calm and reasonable, chances are they can talk it out easily. As much as possible, stay away from high temper and avoid getting into an argument when you are both not in the mood because it will just be a cat and dog fight. Sometimes, when in too much anger, people tend to say things that they don't really have and mean to especially if both of them are emotional.

You should find a middle ground so that both of you can understand each other very well. This will set you in the mood to talk about the problem and what needs to be done and undone. The couple should agree to their decision and each one should make a promise to know better in dealing some unwanted circumstances which often leads to a serious fight.

Work as a team. Talk to each other and ask what you both need to enlighten yourself out of stress and other problems. one should support the other by means of understanding everything he or she is going through.

Each one should be open about their feelings and emotions. It is not proper to hide anger, envy and jealousy for a longer time but pour it all out one day. This often leads to misunderstandings. Try talking to each other and find out what one likes or dislikes about their behavior whether for themselves or other people.

You need to take it slowly. Do not run into conclusions which you are not sure of. Avoid the words that you want to say that you think might hurt him or her. When you take it down, you will both find it later that its not really a big problem to tackle and fight about. This will save marriage effectively.

Try to find other ways on how to enjoy and relax. When you think of saving marriage you need to take it with all your heart or else, it will not work at all. Try to find something which you have both never done before. Following these tips will help you save your marriage and last until the end.

About the author
You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit http://www.salvagemarriage.com for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

Religion in the news (AP via Yahoo! News)The Episcopal Church's split over homosexuality is getting worldwide attention, but a denomination of roughly equal numbers and stature in the United States ? the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) ? is similarly torn up by the issue.

Justice Ministry drafts civil marriage law for 'refuseniks' (Haaretz Daily)The Justice Ministry is drafting a bill that would institute a type of civil marriage for couples who cannot marry in Israel according to Jewish law. Justice Minister Haim Ramon intends to introduce the bill during the Knesset's winter session.

How Get A Marriage Certificate Asap...

2006-07-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

Laws for marriage certificate vary from state to state. This means that you will depend on the state that you live in and follow by the rules. A person cannot just request for a marriage certificate without proper requirements. Laws have been required that marriage certificates are strictly handed out and you need to comply with all the requirements first.

Here are some of the requirements that you need to get a marriage certificate:A country clerk should release a marriage certificate. A clerk of the court can also release it but it requires a certain payment of a fee.Couples can be issued with a marriage certificate only if they are 18 years and older. If not, they need consent of their parents or a judge if they are younger.

Some states require proof of immunity or vaccination because many states have done away with the required mandatory exams and blood tests. Some of the states require test venereal diseases, and rubella, which is also known as German Measles. This disease is very dangerous to fetuses. In addition, they have conducted tests to check if they are free from sickle-cell anemia and tuberculosis.

A person applying for a marriage certificate should have a proof of termination of prior marriages by death or by judgment of dissolution, which is also known as annulment or divorce. If the person already had a valid marriage, he should terminate his marital status before he can obtain another. He can obtain it through divorce lawsuit or dissolution. This will result in a judgment, which will return both man and woman to the status of an unmarried person.

A person should have sufficient mental capacity. This is determined as the person's ability to enter into a contract. Marriage will require two consenting people. If one of them does not understand the purpose of getting married, then the person does not have the capacity to consent therefore, they will never be issued with a marriage certificate.

The couples should not be close blood relatives. However, in some states, first cousins can marry and it is legal. Although they allow it, a few requires that one of the cousins should not conceive children.

Due to the widespread of venereal diseases and AIDS and HIV, some states require that couples applying for marriage certificate needs to undergo an HIV test or they should be provided with enough information about AIDS..

A marriage certificate can be issued after the marriage ceremony is performed. This will also allow a satisfaction of a waiting period after the ceremony. This waiting period is the time for the couples to cool off before the date of marriage comes. The purpose of the waiting period is for them to make up their minds. Marriage ceremony should only be done until they have completely decided to get married and wish to stay with each other for the rest of their lives.

If not, at least they will have time to think if they are ready of not. Before getting married, it is important that both parties have completely come to a right decision because having a divorce is as difficult as getting married. Some divorce and annulment applications are not granted easily. Therefore, it does not make him or her available for another marriage contract with another partner.

About the author
You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit http://www.salvagemarriage.com for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

Researchers: Cheaters sometimes win (The Weatherford Democrat)A recent study by Italian researchers offers some really bad advice. I don?t mean, ?try the sushi? bad. I mean ?ignore that rattlesnake? bad.

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Effective Ways To save marriage Starting Now!

2006-07-07T02:06:00.000-07:00

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Confide For Less Anger In Your Marriage

2006-07-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

Jose and Juanita have been married for 17 years, and basically love each other, yet have been fighting over the same issue almost every night of those years: She likes it cold at night and he likes it warm in their house and bedroom. She had just opened their bedroom windows for the night. When she left to visit the bathroom, she heard Jose follow her and close all the windows.

Let's eavesdrop to see what we can learn about this fight and what to do about it.

"(curtain up)"
Juanita: (to Jose) "I can't sleep unless the windows are wide open. You know that, but insist on closing them every night, just so I'll be miserable. You are selfish and inconsiderate."

Jose: (to Juanita):"This is my house too. Why should I have to freeze? You always get your way. It is so cold in here you could hang meat! Are you trying to get me sick? No NORMAL person would want it this cold!"
(curtain down)

IS THIS A SOLVABLE PROBLEM?
Depends on the specific marriage. For some couples, the solution would be a simple compromise of some sort; for instance, buy a room thermometer and agree to always keep the room at an agreed upon temperature both could live with.

In many marriages, however, a problem like this is not easily solved it becomes "perpetual"and trying to "solve" it only creates anger and tension. For Jose and Juanita, this unfortunately was the case.

Why is a simple problem like this not solvable for our couple and in many other marriages? Could be many reasons, but the usual culprits are:

(1) The couple is engaged in a power or control struggle. This means the fight isn't about the issue anymore it is about who will win or lose.

(2) The temperature issue goes deeper and is emotionally tied into other personal or marital issues. If this is the case, the more pressure put on the person to change, the more the person resists.

For instance, turns out that Juanita literally panics if in a room without air flow due to issues in her childhood. Depriving her of fresh air flow literally makes her want to fight for her life.

CONFIDING MAKES THE DIFFERENCE
Let's now listen in on what Jose and Juanita could have said that may have made a HUGE difference in their communication.
This is because now they are speaking from their hearts combining empathy (seeing things from the viewpoint of the other) with assertive communication (honestly speaking your feelings and thoughts in a forthright manner)

Juanita (should have said something like):"I feel that I don't have to put up with this, although I also feel bad that you have to suffer. I tell myself that if you really loved me, you would want me to be comfortable at night.
I also ask myself why should I always give in? I work hard all day too and deserve some consideration. All I'm asking for is a decent night's sleep, but then, I wonder if I am being too selfish."

Jose (should have said something like):"I do really love you and I want you to be comfortable too, but it gets so cold in here at night for me that I can't sleep.
We both want a good night's sleep and want to be able to continue sleeping together in the same room. Let's find a way to discuss it so it doesn't make us so angry at each other."

Granted, it is not easy to confide when in the heat of marital battle. Consequently, it is often better to first take a time out, calm down and then communicate what is in your heart. The following communication tips will help:

FOUR COMMUNICATION TIPS

Tip 1- Don't only focus on the issue. Also discuss your feelings, thoughts, and inner conflicts surrounding the issue. Confide what is going on in both your heart and your mind.

Tip 2- Look at how you communicate with each other ABOUT the issue. Focus on the process of communication.

Tip 3- Give up needing to be right all the time. Wise and successful married people have discovered that often it is preferable to be happy than to be right!

Tip 4- Convey to your partner that you love them enough to want to join them so together you can find a way to deal with the issue or problem.

About the author
Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His company, http://www.angercoach.com provides classes, products and resources for adults, couples,the workplace, and professionals. He can be reached at 714-771-0378.

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MARRIAGE DIGEST: Romney urges Mass. legislators to pass amendment; Schwarzenegger speaks to Log Cabin group (BPNews.net)BOSTON (BP)--With Massachusetts legislators scheduled to debate a proposed marriage amendment at a constitutional convention in mid-July, Gov. Mitt Romney is urging members of both chambers to send the proposal to voters and not kill it with procedural tactics.

Romney: Gay marriage needs vote (Sentinel & Enterprise)BOSTON -- Gov. Mitt Romney on Wednesday joined religious leaders in asking the Legislature to vote on a proposed constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage when lawmakers meet in a joint session July 12.

11 Tips For The Matrimonially-Challenged

2006-06-29T09:45:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, jumping the broom. It's not for everyone, but it's manageable if you have the right information. I was completely caught off guard by some of the situations I've encountered in nearly eleven years of holy matrimony and if you're not prepared, you'll be running full speed ahead back to the single life. Fortunately, my husband and I loved each other enough to pull our family together and live happily ever after.

You say you want happily ever after also? Well, I submit to you a list of valuable lessons I've learned throughout the years. Of course, I can't really promise you eternal love, but a few of these tips will save you from unnecessary suffering, guaranteed.

*Be crowned the king/queen of two-timing BEFORE you commit
In other words, it's so much easier to play the field while you're single, instead of getting married and deciding you want to see a whole lot of other people. Seems like this would be easy to figure out, right? Well, apparently it's not. Some people don't realize the big mess they've created until it's way too late and they're unable to come back from it. Can you say: Alimony, monthly child-support payments and a second job to support yourself? Not to mention various sexually transmitted diseases, some fatal.

*Marry someone you are also friends with.
Declare to spend the rest of your life with someone who really likes you as a person, not just as a sexual partner. Sometimes, sex will be nonexistent for short periods of time (pregnancy, illness). If you and your better half like each other, as well as love each other, the foundation that was built on friendship will be more than enough to get you through those rough patches. Besides, being best friends with your spouse makes marriage so much more fun!

*Don't put your spouse on a pedestal
Everyone makes mistakes, so leave room for plenty of them. If you're looking for the perfect spouse and marriage you're probably living in a fantasy world. Simple rules apply in our vows, but we all act a little human sometimes and vows become the hardest thing in the world to stick to. This is to be expected, so try not to come down too hard on your other half for not being a saint at all times and the two of you will be just fine.

*Leave the past in the past
Geez, are you still nagging about all those awful things that happened three years ago. Get over it. No one wants to hear the remix of how much of a jackass they used to be, especially when you all agreed to work it out and things are going great. If you just can't stop bringing it up every five minutes, maybe it's time to seek counseling. Otherwise, concentrate on the good things and push forward.

*Put your spouse and children first
Nothing is going to send you to divorce court faster than in-law drama. I know you want everyone to get along, but understand that you are not responsible for your mother, father or siblings happiness. Your main responsibility is to keep your house in order. If your parents and siblings can't get with the program, be prepared to take a hiatus from them until they have learned to respect you and your mate. If something in them forbids them to do so, stay true to the one who really matters and that should be you. If you truly want a successful marriage, sometimes you have to learn to love from a distance.

*Never disrespect your home
You already know your family hates your husband/wife, so stop going to them and talking behind his or her back whenever you two have an argument. One, it just makes your family loathe your spouse even more and two, your marriage is on the wrong track if you're pouring salt on your significant other. Also, keep your house a home by not having the wrong people coming and going. This is bad for any relationship, married or not. Keep the drama queen/king out of your house, they're only looking to start trouble.

*Keep marital advice from someone who isn't married to a minimum
Realistically, you probably shouldn't take marital advice from someone who has never been married, just like you probably shouldn't take childrearing advice from someone who doesn't have kids. I know it sounds a little harsh, but it makes sense. Would you take flight instruction from someone who has never even had flight training? I wouldn't. In my experience, my unmarried friends have never said anything that could help my marriage. (Sorry guys, I know you tried, but...) Personally, I like to seek advice from older, experienced couples. There is no better way to prepare for marital warfare, than to get guidance from someone who has already been in combat and survived.

*Support your husband or wife's endeavors
Why do you shoot down every idea your sweetie comes up with? Will it really kill you to be supportive for once? No one will exist on a single thought for the rest of their lives. Realize that people grow and with growth comes change. It's understandable your spouse has aspirations outside of going to work and paying bills. Is your opposing attitude holding him back from starting that small business? Are you laughing her away from her dream of becoming an actress? Be supportive of your life companion's dreams because if it works out for them, it will really work out for you.

*Keep passion alive!
She used to wear sexy boy shorts while the two of you were dating, but since you've been married and had two children all she's worn to bed are her gigantic granny bloomers. He used to say something flattering to you everyday, but now he barely notices you. These are common complaints and it can wreak havoc in a marriage. Life is busy and we all get weary from our day-to-day affairs, but just remember to take a little time out to spoil your spouse every once in a while. Let them know that you haven't forgotten about them and you appreciate all of their efforts. Show them that you are still the person they fell in love with even though life can get in the way. Your partner will surely return the favor.

*Communicate often
Talk to your spouse everyday about something other than the kids, the house, and the bills. Even if you don't spend a lot of time in the house together, a cell phone will solve that problem. Be sure to get some time to yourselves; go out on a date every once in a while or just snuggle on the couch and talk about constructive things. In my opinion, communication is the key to a successful marriage. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who won't even talk? Who wants to have a disagreement, but not be able to discuss it intelligently? I'm a huge fan of heated discussions. At least we're communicating; not going in a room, slamming the door and stewing for hours. Let's hash it out, get it over with and make up. And who doesn't like making up? Wink.

Dont forget to:

*Pray!
Pray everyday for your marriage, your home and children. Prayer can bring reassurance and ease your mind when things go haywire. Do you know what would be even better? Pray together. You already know the saying, "the family that prays together, stays together!"
About the author
Sheila Webster-Heard is a freelance writer and author. She writes about various life experience topics and is also a published poet. http://www.sheilawebster-heard.com

Arcelor OKs Mittal bid; shareholder vote is next (The Plain Dealer)Luxembourg- Putting five months of enmity behind them, Arcelor SA and Mittal Steel Co. promised to honor each other Monday as they toasted their $31.9 billion covenant - but they still need support from Arcelor shareholders to seal the deal.

Weddings and engagements (Hartselle Enquirer)Erin Lynn Blanchard of Fayetteville, Tenn. and Jeremy Andrew Miller of Madison, Tenn. were wed Saturday, May 20, 2006, at 1 p.m. at Huntsville's Wedding Chapel on the Mountain.

Considering Marriage Advice For The Newly-hitched!

2006-06-28T02:39:00.000-07:00

There's a big step from engaged to married. It's not just exchanging rings and wedding vows, it's exchanging one lifestyle for another. Even as an engaged person you had a certain independence that meant you had some space of your own. There was a part of your day or night that you were your own person. In a marriage this more or less disappears completely.

No matter how much freedom you have in your marriage, how flexible the boundaries you still have to remember that there is now someone else that you must keep 100% in your life-loop! If you're going to be late from work, you need to make sure your husband/wife knows. If you aren't going to be home for supper, they need to know. If you aren't going to be able to get the dry cleaning on the way home, and it's needed for the next day, they need to know so they can go get it! This is a major life change. At first it feels as if you are back answering to your parents! You may even rebel against the idea. But think about it for a moment. Your husband/wife always walks through the door at 6.52pm give or take 4 minutes. You have supper waiting on the table. At 7.20pm supper is cold, and they still haven't arrived. 8.25pm when they walk through the door, you're halfway through dialing the number for the local hospital because you're sure something's happened to them. They smile and apologize for being late but they got caught up in a last minute meeting. No thought to the anguish you've been through picturing them hurt or worse! You don't want to be the one feeling this way, and so make sure you don't do the same kind of thing to your beloved! Letting your partner know your schedule is a sign of consideration. Of acknowledging that this other person cares about you and will worry if you are not where you've said you'll be at the time you said you'll be there.

Gone too are the days when you could say Sure, I'll come for pizza tonight! to work colleagues without even thinking about it. First of all you need to call your partner and tell them that this is what you're planning, and making sure that they're ok with it. Yes, I know, too bad if they aren't, but they may have made other plans for the evening that you don't know about and so it is worth checking first!

Consideration for your new husband or wife is the first and most important aspect of your marriage during the early days because it's the thing that's most difficult to adjust too. Is your music too loud? Does your partner want to watch a different channel? Do you take all the blankets in bed? Do you snore? You don't check these things because you benefit, nor as a partner would you usually complain about them, but you do them because you want your marriage to be a partnership with two equal partners. If you argue about something, find common middle ground. There should be no power struggle if both parties respect each other enough to accept that both people are entitled to hold differing viewpoints. Don't back down from confrontation, don't press forward your advantage, be considerate towards each other and negotiate a situation you can both agree to.

In the early weeks and months of marriage, you'll find many things new and sometimes not exactly the way you thought they'd be, but if both parties add consideration to their menu of love, trust and respect, then married life will soon settle down and you'll become accustomed to doing things without resentment or obligation. You'll do them because you want too.

About the author
Looking for information about Dating? Go to: Dating PR - Everything About Dating On The Net is published by Angela Davis - The Complete A to Z Of Dating Resources Check out more Dating articles at: http://www.datingpr.com/

Nicole's Second Marriage? (E! Online)Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise may have blinded the Catholic Church with Scientology. The BBC reported Monday that, while there has been speculation that Kidman got her first marriage annulled so that she and Keith Urban could say their "I do's" in a Catholic chapel, it turns out that, because she and Cruise swapped vows upon the altar that L. Ron Hubbard built, she wasn't legally married in the

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Are You Considering A Second Marriage: Giving Marriage Another Shot...

2006-06-28T02:24:00.000-07:00

Before making another step in marrying again, are you ready to experience again the consequences of living again with someone?

First, you must review the performance you made in your first marriage. You will ask to yourself, how could I be a better spouse? How come our union ended in divorce? What really went wrong? What weaknesses do I still need to work on? There are many questions remained in your first marriage. So you must able to answer first all unending questions before thinking to marry again.

Second, know what you're really looking for in a partner. Be sure of the character traits you want. Don't force yourself to settle down just because you're lonely and in dire need of a companion. Finally, let time answer your questions. Enjoy your freedom, at least for a moment and give yourself much time in finding your potential mate before you say I do again.

In entering another chapter in your life, second marriage is a very challenging obligation for you. Many different things will about to change in your everyday life when you finally decided in remarrying again. Freedom of you will be lost again. You must be prepared of the new responsibility you will take and how you take it with readiness.

For marrying the second time around, there are lots of things to consider for making it a successful one. There are many situations you must able to fully understand in order to avoid again differences to your new spouse. These are the following:

-EXPECTATIONS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
In the beginning of the second marriage, problems will not occur instantly. As to a new couple, you are savouring your new found love. However, too many expectations may arise when one is to demanding to the other. This can be fixed if you can tell what your limitations are and what you can only do.

-REALISTIC APPROACH OF LOVE
This can be the best thing ever happened to the second marriage. Love must blossom unconditionally with respect. Give and take-this is for the equal releasing of feelings.

-POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND OUTLOOK IN LIFE
It may not be perfect at all, but happy in what you have. Do not force yourself in giving just to ensure the happiness on your spouse. You must be contended of the abilities and capabilities of your partner. Encourage your partner in giving his/her best in any other way.

-COMMUNICATING ABOUT FEELINGS
You must be open to what you really feel. Have the time to talk. This can help in keeping the flame alive. Listen to your partner. In listening you get what he/she wants to relate.

-UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES
You may not be able to do everything, it's doesn't cost you to any problem. Understanding and accepting weaknesses are part of marriage. Humans are not perfect, so they intend to make wrong actions. You must respect the little things he/she made.

-MAKING DECISIONS AND SETTLING ARGUMENTS
These kinds of situations are very crucial. It can make or brake. In making decisions you must tell what you're thinking. Possibly, accept your partner's opinion. Settle your arguments in due time. Arguments are really mind busters. This may create gaps in the relationship.

-COMMON SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION AND GOAL
It may be good if both of you believe in the same religion doctrine. It can avoid debates on what are the right beliefs. A dream of a perfect family is one common goal. This can be done if both are very cooperative and serious. It can be a good foundation in the years to come. This can be the guiding force of making a successful relationship.

-COMBINING A FAMILY
What if your new spouse has a child or children in his/her previous marriage? You must know at least step-parenting skills. You are dealing emotions of their new environment. Be a good at them as they are also important to your spouse's life. Accept them as you accepted your partner. Make them also one of your main priorities.

In committing your life again to someone, make it sure that you are really serious and prepared. Sacrifice and true love must be your agenda as for marriage it's not taken for granted. So to speak, may your second marriage be a successful and fruitful one.

Best wishes and good luck.

About the author
You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit http://www.salvagemarriage.com for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

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