Let's Talk About Marriage

Now that you have shared your happy news with family and friends the fun really starts. It's time to actually start planning your wedding; wedding reception ideas, bridal bouquets, wedding favour ideas and dress ideas will be swimming around in that little loved-up head of yours!

Take a deep breath and relax because the BIG question you're already asking yourself is... "Where do I start?"

Well, the only way to successfully plan your perfect wedding is to start with your wedding reception ideas. Treat yourself to a few bridal magazines [you've always wanted to buy one and now you can with that rock on your finger!]. Start looking around in haberdashery departments and put together a collection of the materials, styles and colours that appeal to you. These will provide the essential ingredients for your wedding reception ideas board or scrapbook or however you choose to present them.

Your ideas can then spiral off in a multitude of different directions as you start to consider wedding themes, wedding favour ideas, colour themes and style themes, etc. It is truly essential to set the tone of your wedding first and then everything else falls in to place. For example, if your bridal gown shop knows you are going for a traditional "ivory and gold" theme, she can then advise you on gowns to suit this theme. In addition, you can then advise your wedding favour supplier that any ideas for wedding favours must fit within this theme.

Wedding favours come in all different styles and design. They range from candle favours, chocolate favours, cd wedding favours, beach themed favours and many more. You can even personalise your favours to make them unique to your guests.

In these early days, there is no need to ask for the groom's comments - wait until you have narrowed down some ideas before you present them to him. He won't really respond to "do you like this?" and "what about this?" being thrown at him 50 times a day. It is far better to approach your groom once you have narrowed down groomsmen ideas, colour ideas, wedding reception ideas, wedding favour ideas, etc to a minimum. You will also get a more honest answer from him. Don't forget, even though ideas for wedding favours have completely taken over your life for the moment, he might not share your enthusiasm at this early stage of the preparations.

Throughout your ideas stage, you must not forget your wedding guests. Fundamentally, it is your day, however every girl wants their wedding remembered for its class and elegance. The one way that guests will treasure your wedding memories is by the giving of unique wedding favours. Second to your wedding themes and wedding reception ideas, you must consider wedding favour ideas carefully. Once your beautiful day is over and you're embarking on married life, you want your guests to look back at their favour boxes and bomboniere and reminisce!

However you plan your wonderful day, and whichever of your original wedding reception ideas and ideas for wedding favours you choose, have a special day and a magical married life thereafter!

About the author
This article is brought to you by Emily Tanner - She recommends more advice and quality wedding favours and bomboniere at http://www.world-of-wedding-favours.com

Stacy's partner of twelve years does not come home one evening and she knew he was with a former lover. He begged for another chance with Stacy, but her pride and anger held her back. Stacy said she would feel like a fool if she forgave him, even though she still loved him. Stacy didn't end the relationship, but reminds him daily of what he did to her.

Should Stacy forgive her otherwise good husband for what he did? Of course, only Stacy can make this decision.

Fact is, most marriages cannot survive knowledge of an affair, but some do and can even grow stronger in the long run.

Stacy and others who struggle with forgiveness for all kinds of marital offenses (not only affairs) can be helped in their decision by considering the following misconceptions about forgiveness:

MISCONCEPTION #1
Forgiving means that you forget about the offense.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Even though you forgive, you may never forget (and probably shouldn't) what happened to you.

However, you can tell that you have truly forgiven an offense when you can remember it without experiencing the emotional pain connected with it.

MISCONCEPTION #2
Forgiving means that you are saying what they did was okay.
Quite the opposite. We can still forgive, but see what happened to us as unjust, unfair, or unacceptable.

There are many things that our partners can do to us that we don't deserve or that violate the contract, covenant, or agreement you have with each other.

Yet, we can forgive by realizing that perhaps they were misguided, or flawed and thus worthy of another chance.

MISCONCEPTION #3
In order to forgive, you need to tell your partner that you forgive them.

Actually, it often backfires if you go up to someone and say "I forgive you," especially if they see themselves as a victim instead of seeing themselves as someone who warrants forgiveness.

Fact is, forgiveness occurs in your heart not in the telling someone that you forgive them.

There are exceptions to this, however, and circumstances under which you might want to discuss your forgiveness of them but only if you think that it will not cause further harm.

For instance, Ruth's husband asked for her forgiveness following a gambling spree which put the family in financial peril. After one year of rehabilitation and a "clean" record, Ruth told him that she now forgave him.

MISCONCEPTION #4
If you forgive, it means you will trust them again immediately.
Forgiveness and trust are two separate issues. Even after forgiveness, it may take a long time to re-build trust.

To instantly trust your partner again after being violated is not a sign of good mental health or strong self-esteem.

Doing this may also send a message to your partner that they may continue to violate your trust with little fear of actually having to suffer the consequences.
Marital trust must be re-earned after an offense, based on good behavior not just smooth words or empty promises.

MISCONCEPTION #5
After forgiving, you will automatically feel positive feelings again for your partner.

The opposite of anger is not love. Absence of angry feelings doesn't necessarily create warm, positive feelings' sometimes it simply creates neutral ones.

In many cases, of course, it is impossible to ever rekindle the love feelings' even after forgiveness. This is common with ex-partners who learn to let go of the
anger connected with the divorce issues, but never love each other again.

MISCONCEPTION #6
Forgiveness occurs all at once.

Not necessarily. Maybe you can start by forgiving maybe 10% just open the door and then see how your partner behaves.

After a period of time, you might open the door a little wider and let go of a little more anger until you are truly able to forgive 100%

About the author
Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach http://www.angercoach.com provides classes, products and resources for adults, couples,the workplace, and professionals. He can be reached at 714-771-0378.

Have you ever fallen in love? Do you wish that the person you are with right now is the same person who will share the rest of your life with? Is there a reason a person to be in love?

Everybody wants to love and be loved in return. Falling in love is one of the best feelings ever to feel by an individual. When in love, a person has all the reasons to smile and be happy.

But sometime love is misunderstood. Most people think that love is merely an emotion. That it is something that you feel. Yes love gives you an emotion but you can not feel it. In marriage, it something that fades when time passes by.

Love is how you decide to act and treat someone on a particular way. It is more on the actions you intend to show than you feel. Love is the promise and the vow you and your partner had made on your wedding. It is a pledge, a security.

This is the reason why you promised to love and cherish each for all eternity. You both did not promise to feel a certain way. Instead, the promise and the vow was made and sealed for better or for worst.

Is love really important in marriage?

Definitely it is important! It is because feelings usually rise and fall, come and go. There may be times that you are upset or you have hurt the person you love. Instances like this may happen, but it does not mean you have to give up easily. Actually, this is the best time that love calls for your attention.

Because you love your partner, chances are you will learn to forgive, mend, encourage, cherish and improve your marriage into the better. It is not that everything will always be easy and simple. There will be times that those good feeling is just around the corner and sometimes they are left unrecognized. However, your continuous commitment to love as you have promised will make sure that the feeling will come up always.

Love must be a commitment. Most marriages failed because one of the couple falls in love to someone else. This is because of what people call the “feelings” and lust. The feelings will always change.

Making a comparison between your spouse and the other person is not right. It actually leads your attention out of your partner. Once this happen, it would be very easy to look for third party and destroy your marriage relationship. It will be easier for you to set aside your commitment and your promise to your marriage.

Therefore it is necessary to keep love in mind always. Do not forget the commitment you have for your partner. This is important since you two can help each other face difficult trials and solve problems the natural way.

It is actually your decision to love your partner that will help you get through. When you and your partner remember the promise of love and be together through thick and thin then, the marriage is secure. Without the commitment, the marriage will be weak to endure the problems that are unavoidably to come.

Lastly, keep in mind, love is not merely a feeling. It is a decision to make and to perform a certain way with the person you choose marry and be with forever.

About the author
You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit http://www.salvagemarriage.com for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

They say that marriage is the most important decision you have to make in your whole life. Although this has been a reminder from the elders, some people do not look at it that way especially the young. Sometimes, what turns out to be the smartest decision becomes the opposite.

When a couple realizes that their marriage is going down, there's nothing more important than saving marriage. You should talk about things that will be helpful to save your marriage. It is important for a couple to remain the same as how it used to be.

There are a lot of factors affecting marriage and it hinders having a happy, fun and enjoying life for the couples.

If a married couple is having problems, they need to do everything to save marriage especially if they have kids. This article will give you tips on how to save marriage.

First is to acknowledge the reasons for your problems. This means that both of you should accept the problem and find out how it all started. If you do not talk it over, problems will get bigger and bigger. When the problem becomes bigger, it will be hard to pull it down and talk over.

If the partners are rational, calm and reasonable, chances are they can talk it out easily. As much as possible, stay away from high temper and avoid getting into an argument when you are both not in the mood because it will just be a cat and dog fight. Sometimes, when in too much anger, people tend to say things that they don't really have and mean to especially if both of them are emotional.

You should find a middle ground so that both of you can understand each other very well. This will set you in the mood to talk about the problem and what needs to be done and undone. The couple should agree to their decision and each one should make a promise to know better in dealing some unwanted circumstances which often leads to a serious fight.

Work as a team. Talk to each other and ask what you both need to enlighten yourself out of stress and other problems. one should support the other by means of understanding everything he or she is going through.

Each one should be open about their feelings and emotions. It is not proper to hide anger, envy and jealousy for a longer time but pour it all out one day. This often leads to misunderstandings. Try talking to each other and find out what one likes or dislikes about their behavior whether for themselves or other people.

You need to take it slowly. Do not run into conclusions which you are not sure of. Avoid the words that you want to say that you think might hurt him or her. When you take it down, you will both find it later that its not really a big problem to tackle and fight about. This will save marriage effectively.

Try to find other ways on how to enjoy and relax. When you think of saving marriage you need to take it with all your heart or else, it will not work at all. Try to find something which you have both never done before. Following these tips will help you save your marriage and last until the end.

About the author
You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit http://www.salvagemarriage.com for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

Laws for marriage certificate vary from state to state. This means that you will depend on the state that you live in and follow by the rules. A person cannot just request for a marriage certificate without proper requirements. Laws have been required that marriage certificates are strictly handed out and you need to comply with all the requirements first.

Here are some of the requirements that you need to get a marriage certificate:A country clerk should release a marriage certificate. A clerk of the court can also release it but it requires a certain payment of a fee.Couples can be issued with a marriage certificate only if they are 18 years and older. If not, they need consent of their parents or a judge if they are younger.

Some states require proof of immunity or vaccination because many states have done away with the required mandatory exams and blood tests. Some of the states require test venereal diseases, and rubella, which is also known as German Measles. This disease is very dangerous to fetuses. In addition, they have conducted tests to check if they are free from sickle-cell anemia and tuberculosis.

A person applying for a marriage certificate should have a proof of termination of prior marriages by death or by judgment of dissolution, which is also known as annulment or divorce. If the person already had a valid marriage, he should terminate his marital status before he can obtain another. He can obtain it through divorce lawsuit or dissolution. This will result in a judgment, which will return both man and woman to the status of an unmarried person.

A person should have sufficient mental capacity. This is determined as the person's ability to enter into a contract. Marriage will require two consenting people. If one of them does not understand the purpose of getting married, then the person does not have the capacity to consent therefore, they will never be issued with a marriage certificate.

The couples should not be close blood relatives. However, in some states, first cousins can marry and it is legal. Although they allow it, a few requires that one of the cousins should not conceive children.

Due to the widespread of venereal diseases and AIDS and HIV, some states require that couples applying for marriage certificate needs to undergo an HIV test or they should be provided with enough information about AIDS..

A marriage certificate can be issued after the marriage ceremony is performed. This will also allow a satisfaction of a waiting period after the ceremony. This waiting period is the time for the couples to cool off before the date of marriage comes. The purpose of the waiting period is for them to make up their minds. Marriage ceremony should only be done until they have completely decided to get married and wish to stay with each other for the rest of their lives.

If not, at least they will have time to think if they are ready of not. Before getting married, it is important that both parties have completely come to a right decision because having a divorce is as difficult as getting married. Some divorce and annulment applications are not granted easily. Therefore, it does not make him or her available for another marriage contract with another partner.

About the author
You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit http://www.salvagemarriage.com for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

Jose and Juanita have been married for 17 years, and basically love each other, yet have been fighting over the same issue almost every night of those years: She likes it cold at night and he likes it warm in their house and bedroom. She had just opened their bedroom windows for the night. When she left to visit the bathroom, she heard Jose follow her and close all the windows.

Let's eavesdrop to see what we can learn about this fight and what to do about it.

"(curtain up)"
Juanita: (to Jose) "I can't sleep unless the windows are wide open. You know that, but insist on closing them every night, just so I'll be miserable. You are selfish and inconsiderate."

Jose: (to Juanita):"This is my house too. Why should I have to freeze? You always get your way. It is so cold in here you could hang meat! Are you trying to get me sick? No NORMAL person would want it this cold!"
(curtain down)

IS THIS A SOLVABLE PROBLEM?
Depends on the specific marriage. For some couples, the solution would be a simple compromise of some sort; for instance, buy a room thermometer and agree to always keep the room at an agreed upon temperature both could live with.

In many marriages, however, a problem like this is not easily solved it becomes "perpetual"and trying to "solve" it only creates anger and tension. For Jose and Juanita, this unfortunately was the case.

Why is a simple problem like this not solvable for our couple and in many other marriages? Could be many reasons, but the usual culprits are:

(1) The couple is engaged in a power or control struggle. This means the fight isn't about the issue anymore it is about who will win or lose.

(2) The temperature issue goes deeper and is emotionally tied into other personal or marital issues. If this is the case, the more pressure put on the person to change, the more the person resists.

For instance, turns out that Juanita literally panics if in a room without air flow due to issues in her childhood. Depriving her of fresh air flow literally makes her want to fight for her life.

CONFIDING MAKES THE DIFFERENCE
Let's now listen in on what Jose and Juanita could have said that may have made a HUGE difference in their communication.
This is because now they are speaking from their hearts combining empathy (seeing things from the viewpoint of the other) with assertive communication (honestly speaking your feelings and thoughts in a forthright manner)

Juanita (should have said something like):"I feel that I don't have to put up with this, although I also feel bad that you have to suffer. I tell myself that if you really loved me, you would want me to be comfortable at night.
I also ask myself why should I always give in? I work hard all day too and deserve some consideration. All I'm asking for is a decent night's sleep, but then, I wonder if I am being too selfish."

Jose (should have said something like):"I do really love you and I want you to be comfortable too, but it gets so cold in here at night for me that I can't sleep.
We both want a good night's sleep and want to be able to continue sleeping together in the same room. Let's find a way to discuss it so it doesn't make us so angry at each other."

Granted, it is not easy to confide when in the heat of marital battle. Consequently, it is often better to first take a time out, calm down and then communicate what is in your heart. The following communication tips will help:

FOUR COMMUNICATION TIPS

Tip 1- Don't only focus on the issue. Also discuss your feelings, thoughts, and inner conflicts surrounding the issue. Confide what is going on in both your heart and your mind.

Tip 2- Look at how you communicate with each other ABOUT the issue. Focus on the process of communication.

Tip 3- Give up needing to be right all the time. Wise and successful married people have discovered that often it is preferable to be happy than to be right!

Tip 4- Convey to your partner that you love them enough to want to join them so together you can find a way to deal with the issue or problem.

About the author
Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His company, http://www.angercoach.com provides classes, products and resources for adults, couples,the workplace, and professionals. He can be reached at 714-771-0378.